Your First Breakup Hurts More Than You Expected (And That’s Okay)

There’s no “right” way to go through a breakup, especially when it’s your first. One day you’re texting good morning and making weekend plans, and the next, you’re replaying every conversation wondering what went wrong. If you're in the thick of your first heartbreak, know this: it’s normal to feel like your world just cracked open.

A first breakup (or hundredth breakup) can feel like grief — because, in many ways, it is. You’re mourning a version of your life you thought you were building with someone else. You’re missing not only the person, but the comfort, routine, and imagined future. Your brain and body are reacting to that loss as if it were a real threat — and for you, it is.

Whatever the reason behind the ending of the relationship can bring its own emotions. What if I gave them another chance? What if we tried long distance? What if I said this and not that? What if I just….

You might find yourself placing blame on yourself. Trying to feel like maybe you could have controlled the outcome by 'just doing___’. Try to let yourself off the hook. Likely, the blame is unwarranted.

Instead, let yourself feel. Write. Cry. Vent to someone who gets it. Avoiding emotions only draws out the pain.

Your first breakup doesn’t define your worth, and it’s not the end of your story. It’s a chapter — one that might feel heavy now, but over time, it becomes part of your emotional wisdom. You learn what you want, what you need, and how strong you really are.

If you're going through it, I see you. I help young adults navigate relationships, identity shifts, and the growing pains of heartbreak. You're not alone — and you don’t have to heal alone, either. If you feel like professional support can help you during this time, please reach out!